Lost!

Lost: Bright Eyes

 

If you see him, please call right away.  We're just sick with worry.  (Not really, but it seems like the appropriate thing to say.) 

There is a funny story behind his disappearance.  Mom and Dad went to feed their little calf and to count noses after we got home from our field trip to Fort Necessity.  Dad kept coming up with the right number of noses, but something was not quite right and he couldn't put his finger on what that something was.  Finally he turned to my mother and asked, "Honey, how many black cows do we have?"

"Why, two, of course," my mother replied.

Dad said, "Well, then, who is that?"

There was an extra black steer in the herd.  So they called Uncle Bo, who told them he had seen that steer watching Bright Eyes and another strange black bull fighting that morning.  Apparently Bright Eyes kicked the living snot out of the trespasser, and then chased him into the woods.  The steer hung around with the cows, and Uncle Bo started walking the fenceline to look for the hole.  It's a long fenceline, and it took him a while.  He was hungry as a bear and about as wild when he finally dragged himself out of the woods.  After he fell upon the nearest calf and devoured it raw (I guess we should have brought some bologna sandwiches or something) The Goobers had a question for him.

"Uncle Bo," The Goobers said, "Why didn't you just shoot that bad bull?"

"Hell, Goobers," Uncle Bo said, picking a few strands of cow hair from between his teeth, "That was the coolest thing I seen all week."

Oh, Bright Eyes.  I loved you so.  I loved you for guarding your herd against those loud and unpredictable miniature humans I keep bringing with me.  Thank you for not stomping them flat, even when they really deserved it.

I loved you when you crept up behind me and snorted and made me pee my pants.  I know you would have looked dashing in the bell I bought to tie around your neck.

I loved you, Bright Eyes, because you were always so regal, so dignified, so noble.  You were a true gentleman and all the ladies appreciated your thoughtfulness...  Hey, Bright Eyes, what are you doing?

Oh, jeez.  C'mon, Bright Eyes.  Nobody needs to see that. 

Have you no shame?  Think of the children!

Holy crap!  Are you seeing this? 

 

That's what you get, you filthy pig.  I hope you are able to apply this little lesson to your new herd.

Comments

[tressays]

Oh my gosh! My eyes! My eyes! They are burned!

Thanks for the laugh. That was great! You are hysterical.

[blueraindrop]

so.. they basically traded? lol

[Melanie]

I knew you'd like that, Tressa. Did you show N? I bet he'd like it, too. The Goobers about fell over laughing when they saw the pictures even though they saw the whole thing live and in person.

Blueraindrop, I'm so glad you dropped by! :D

[Tina in WA]

LOL that is funny!

Just had to stop by here to see your blog. Tressa says wonderful things about you and I just had to see for myself. :)

I love your camera! I will not covet.. I will not covet... LOL :)

Nice to meet you at "your" place.

~Tina

[Melanie]

Thank you, Tina! Nice to meet you, too! Tressa is great, isn't she? :)